sigh

SORRY JANEY AND SHA! made you wait so long in the humid humid weather with nothing to do, and end up not going with you two. SOOOORRRRYYYY! :(

anyway, had 4 hours to stone and rot today. awesome. IT make up lesson was okay, the other class was awfully noisy though. nehmind. english test was er, okay? don't feel much about it. just like that. aiyee.

today was a bad bad bad ballet day. i had to skip the earlier class. made me feel like shit. it's as if not getting my weekly dose of 4 hours of ballet would totally throw me off balance. went for the later class, and wth, i didn't dance properly. so disappointed with myself. not dancing at all next friday, gonna watch mildred perform. damn. when i come back, i'll be soooo unfit. shit. just one week and everything goes down the drain. and not going for the earlier class meant that i was less flexible, and thus unable to do certain things. brought down my mood even more. STAB.

and just now, mommy left my lappy in her car. AND SHE LENT THE BLOODY CAR TO LOUIS. LEND HIM FOR WHAT I ALSO DON'T KNOW. just cos he finished his exam? SO WHAT, YOUR SON AH? lend the car to him. MAYBE PEOPLE'S LAPTOP INSIDE! i was so angry and irritated. and i was feeling good being angry and irritated, but my mommy called louis and got back my laptop. thanks, it was really nice of her. BUT I WAS IN SUCH A MOOD TO BE ANGRY. now i can't vent it out, and the feeling's even worse. doens't help that ballet was bad today :(

anyway, just know was on the way home in daddy's car. just happened to glance at the side mirrors. and for a moment, i couldn't recognise who that was. does that mean i've changed? changed to the extent of not recognising who i am? tania doesn't think so. but that day, when i called her, she said i sounded weird, as in change of frequency.

that's my biggest fear, that we're not on the same frequency anymore. because she's the closest friend i have, and to lose that would be total death. i miss her loads. jc and poly's really different.

yes, people change. but i don't want to change so much until i can't even recognise myself. that would be the saddest thing ever. and i'm afraid of change. a lot of people are, who can blame them? it's a pretty hard thing to go through. and even harder when you don't have anyone to go through it with you.

maybe i think too much? don't know. who ever knows.

ahhhhhh, i feel like pigging out now. not good, not good.

the chalet's right bang smack in the middle of baracuda camp. DAMN DAMN DAMN. adrienne's coming back. shit luh. nevermind, shall spend the first 4 days with her. if i can even get some of her time.

GOOD NIGHT PEOPLE.