mmpfts. sunburn hurts. pfffts.
camp tomorrow man(sorta kinda) sheesh. so many things to doooooo.
meeting cheryl for dinner later :) yay!
aesuhfarku hoaliuhgAEWUH P;OGUH [ORGHoiwhr; glsj g'/flx'earorj
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
jeez.
jeezers begeebers.
i wonder how come i'm like tha.
hmmmm.
kay. sleepy. should swin tomorrow.
gah busy week ahead. want to just bleagh now. thank you very much.
i wonder how come i'm like tha.
hmmmm.
kay. sleepy. should swin tomorrow.
gah busy week ahead. want to just bleagh now. thank you very much.
Friday, September 25, 2009
bella luna
how is it that children can make the most complicated of things seem so simple?
maybe that's why i wanted to start working with children. i guess to them everything is simple. if i like you, i will share my crayons with you and give you a bit of my apple. if i don't then i simply won't play with you. if i am happy, i will show it, but if i'm upset i will just cry or frown. when i want something i will verbalise it. if i feel something, i will tell the people around me. everything just seems so simple for them.
but in the adult world, if i like you, i'm too shy to show it, for fear of losing face. if i don't like you, sometimes i gotta pretend to like you for work's sake. if i am upset i gotta hide it cos it might provoke too many questions. when i want something, i gotta think of different means and ways to portray it in such a way that doesn't make me seem selfish. if i feel something, i gotta think first about the consequences of what i want to say. everything is so much more complex.
so i guess that's why children's innocence is so precious. once that innocence is gone, the simple joys seem to become complicated affairs.
jeez.
why can't everything be simpler. plain black and white.
was talking to faz. maaaaaan. so nostalgic.
i wonder when it turned formal? have i just become a messenger?
went to sha's house just now. her house is so niceeeeee. so pretty. i like :) had a great time catching up with them! and the food was SOOOOOO GOOOOD! haha. yay! sha and janey is love.
it's like alphabet soup. there are so many letters, but they don't make sense.
why does it feel robotic? obligatory?
doubt i'm making sense.
jeeeez.
i'm feeling so. so. so. i don't know how to describe.
imagine growing up with a dad who's a criminal but pretending to be a victim. scary huh.
you can never know the true intentions of people. how about being two-faced. it's scary. one minute he's one helluva nice guy and the next minute he's putting a knife to your throat. and all this in front of a little kid.
this kid is probably going to grow up traumatized. acting out at every opportunity. learning the ways of violence from his father. and then going on to follow in his father's foot steps. that's what saddens me. or it could turn out good. that he sees how his father turned out and not wanting to go down that path, making sure that he does no harm to anyone. that's what gives me hope.
okay, i'm rambling.
i know what i'm feeling. i'm feeling unsettled. i think.
children are impressionable. yes they are.
jeez.
i'm feeling jumpy.
and very not satisfied.
like there's something missing. like some big piece of the jigsaw puzzle is lost.
hmm.
anyhoo.
sometimes i feel like it's not my life i'm leading. like sometimes i just want to be told what to do. maybe people get tired of living every once in awhile. maybe they get tired cos what they're doing is not what they want out of their life. i hope i don't end up like that.
what do you want to be in 5 years? happy.
why is it something can make you so angry yet so happy at the same time! why is it that when you want to be angry something always makes you smile! and there's no outlet for that anger, and it just gets tucked away, which then builds up even bigger and stronger till the next time you explode, and then people think you're being unreasonable. why is it that people get annoyed at you for getting angry, but think that it's perfectly fine when they throw a tantrum. and what more expect you to put up with that tantrum, and comfort them and tell them what they wanna hear.
so then people get taken advantage of. and then, those people are too nice to say anything. why? because they're just too nice, and that's one of the reasons(possibly) why they get taken advantage of. and then those bastards don't give a shit about other people's feelings.
and you know how when someone asks to give you a hand, you say no cos you feel that you might get used to people helping you all the time, and that would make you spoilt. so you say no to try and keep yourself grounded. and then it becomes a habit till you get so buried in your work, and no one can get you out of the mountain of work that you have buried yourself under. and then you still have to put up with people saying things about you, like how you're too proud to accept help from anyone, and how you think you're so good that you just wanna do everything yourself. and that makes you bitter. and that makes you think why the hell do i need other people when i'm perfectly capable of doing this on my own, and then that really turns you into someone full of pride who refuses to acknowledge help.
and then people start to talk about you even more, and how you're such a selfish bitch that needs no one, and that you're cold and heartless. and cos you don't accept help, they daren't ask you for help. and that too becomes a habit, and then you stop helping people. and when you do help someone, they would think that you're only doing so that you can benefit, and not cos you're doing it out of the goodness of your heart, and then that really makes you selfish, only helping people when you feel that you can get something good out of it.
and then of course because of all these negative traits, people refuse to look past the hard exterior and deem you to be the ice queen of the office, and then you lose your social life cos no one wants to be seen with you, or dares to approach you. and because of that, all the warmth and love deep inside of you is pushed even further down, so deep till you can't reach it anymore. and then you totally turn into hard-hearted, egoistic bitch.
and then, you lose faith in humanity.
but then, someone new comes along. someone with the same naivety as you first started out with. and this person goes out of their way to reach out to you. to drop you little notes of encouragement, or little smiles, or starts a conversation with you. even if it's just a few words, it makes your day. and slowly but surely, that layer of ice, or steel around your heart begins to disappear, and it's as if you are born again. and people will start to see the warmth and love in your heart, threatening to overflow any minute, and then they will realise that maybe you're not so bad after all. and they too, start talking to you, start reaching out to you, and you slowly open up to them. afraid at first, but then think ah heck it, it's a nice feeling, and then friendships are formed.
and then, you realise that maybe mankind isn't so bad afterall.
it just takes one.
maybe that's why i wanted to start working with children. i guess to them everything is simple. if i like you, i will share my crayons with you and give you a bit of my apple. if i don't then i simply won't play with you. if i am happy, i will show it, but if i'm upset i will just cry or frown. when i want something i will verbalise it. if i feel something, i will tell the people around me. everything just seems so simple for them.
but in the adult world, if i like you, i'm too shy to show it, for fear of losing face. if i don't like you, sometimes i gotta pretend to like you for work's sake. if i am upset i gotta hide it cos it might provoke too many questions. when i want something, i gotta think of different means and ways to portray it in such a way that doesn't make me seem selfish. if i feel something, i gotta think first about the consequences of what i want to say. everything is so much more complex.
so i guess that's why children's innocence is so precious. once that innocence is gone, the simple joys seem to become complicated affairs.
jeez.
why can't everything be simpler. plain black and white.
was talking to faz. maaaaaan. so nostalgic.
i wonder when it turned formal? have i just become a messenger?
went to sha's house just now. her house is so niceeeeee. so pretty. i like :) had a great time catching up with them! and the food was SOOOOOO GOOOOD! haha. yay! sha and janey is love.
it's like alphabet soup. there are so many letters, but they don't make sense.
why does it feel robotic? obligatory?
doubt i'm making sense.
jeeeez.
i'm feeling so. so. so. i don't know how to describe.
imagine growing up with a dad who's a criminal but pretending to be a victim. scary huh.
you can never know the true intentions of people. how about being two-faced. it's scary. one minute he's one helluva nice guy and the next minute he's putting a knife to your throat. and all this in front of a little kid.
this kid is probably going to grow up traumatized. acting out at every opportunity. learning the ways of violence from his father. and then going on to follow in his father's foot steps. that's what saddens me. or it could turn out good. that he sees how his father turned out and not wanting to go down that path, making sure that he does no harm to anyone. that's what gives me hope.
okay, i'm rambling.
i know what i'm feeling. i'm feeling unsettled. i think.
children are impressionable. yes they are.
jeez.
i'm feeling jumpy.
and very not satisfied.
like there's something missing. like some big piece of the jigsaw puzzle is lost.
hmm.
anyhoo.
sometimes i feel like it's not my life i'm leading. like sometimes i just want to be told what to do. maybe people get tired of living every once in awhile. maybe they get tired cos what they're doing is not what they want out of their life. i hope i don't end up like that.
what do you want to be in 5 years? happy.
why is it something can make you so angry yet so happy at the same time! why is it that when you want to be angry something always makes you smile! and there's no outlet for that anger, and it just gets tucked away, which then builds up even bigger and stronger till the next time you explode, and then people think you're being unreasonable. why is it that people get annoyed at you for getting angry, but think that it's perfectly fine when they throw a tantrum. and what more expect you to put up with that tantrum, and comfort them and tell them what they wanna hear.
so then people get taken advantage of. and then, those people are too nice to say anything. why? because they're just too nice, and that's one of the reasons(possibly) why they get taken advantage of. and then those bastards don't give a shit about other people's feelings.
and you know how when someone asks to give you a hand, you say no cos you feel that you might get used to people helping you all the time, and that would make you spoilt. so you say no to try and keep yourself grounded. and then it becomes a habit till you get so buried in your work, and no one can get you out of the mountain of work that you have buried yourself under. and then you still have to put up with people saying things about you, like how you're too proud to accept help from anyone, and how you think you're so good that you just wanna do everything yourself. and that makes you bitter. and that makes you think why the hell do i need other people when i'm perfectly capable of doing this on my own, and then that really turns you into someone full of pride who refuses to acknowledge help.
and then people start to talk about you even more, and how you're such a selfish bitch that needs no one, and that you're cold and heartless. and cos you don't accept help, they daren't ask you for help. and that too becomes a habit, and then you stop helping people. and when you do help someone, they would think that you're only doing so that you can benefit, and not cos you're doing it out of the goodness of your heart, and then that really makes you selfish, only helping people when you feel that you can get something good out of it.
and then of course because of all these negative traits, people refuse to look past the hard exterior and deem you to be the ice queen of the office, and then you lose your social life cos no one wants to be seen with you, or dares to approach you. and because of that, all the warmth and love deep inside of you is pushed even further down, so deep till you can't reach it anymore. and then you totally turn into hard-hearted, egoistic bitch.
and then, you lose faith in humanity.
but then, someone new comes along. someone with the same naivety as you first started out with. and this person goes out of their way to reach out to you. to drop you little notes of encouragement, or little smiles, or starts a conversation with you. even if it's just a few words, it makes your day. and slowly but surely, that layer of ice, or steel around your heart begins to disappear, and it's as if you are born again. and people will start to see the warmth and love in your heart, threatening to overflow any minute, and then they will realise that maybe you're not so bad after all. and they too, start talking to you, start reaching out to you, and you slowly open up to them. afraid at first, but then think ah heck it, it's a nice feeling, and then friendships are formed.
and then, you realise that maybe mankind isn't so bad afterall.
it just takes one.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
argh. so angry with myself. feel so demoralised.
ballet today was not as good as i expected. i think sometimes when i think too much and get too excited, reality hits, and the disappointment that i get is so argh. like i think i can do this, but in actual fact i can't. cos i don't dance everyday. and i don't get to train as much as i want. and my body isn't exactly what you call a dancer's body. there's like too much.
and how demoralising it is when people who are so much better than me tell me oh i can't do this i can't do that, oh i'm so fat, my legs are so big, my ass is huge. when actually they're pretty damn skinny already. seriously. if you've seen my ballet friends you know what i'm talking about. when actually they can do a perfect double pirouette on pointe, and can balance, and mm praises them, throughout the whole class.
work harder lor.
sigh.
ballet today was not as good as i expected. i think sometimes when i think too much and get too excited, reality hits, and the disappointment that i get is so argh. like i think i can do this, but in actual fact i can't. cos i don't dance everyday. and i don't get to train as much as i want. and my body isn't exactly what you call a dancer's body. there's like too much.
and how demoralising it is when people who are so much better than me tell me oh i can't do this i can't do that, oh i'm so fat, my legs are so big, my ass is huge. when actually they're pretty damn skinny already. seriously. if you've seen my ballet friends you know what i'm talking about. when actually they can do a perfect double pirouette on pointe, and can balance, and mm praises them, throughout the whole class.
work harder lor.
sigh.
sometimes when we touch
i was just told that it doesn't matter how long it takes to achieve your dream. as long as you keep on working for it and believing in it you will get there. it doesn't matter if you took the straight route and ended up there immediately, or that you had to wait 10 years and use all sorts of ways to get there. the most important thing is that you get there in the end.
i need to stop thinking about myself. my dad works hard enough as it is. i shall get this on my own.
yay ballet tomorrow. i'm so motivated to work hard yayyyy :D must be able to do double pirouette on pointe! fouette arabesque! and and attitude turn on pointe without falling! and the paquita music is ZOMG so exciting makes me smileeeeeeee :D watching the videos just give me goooooosebumps :D
jeeez. half of holidays are goneeeee. wastedddd. flown awayyyyy. sigh. not looking forward to next sem at allll.
so yeah. tumblr is very very fun :D
very extremely fun.
and how i met your mother is addictiveeeee. season 5 out tomorrrooowww! :D
kay, gig tomorrow. eggciting :D
i need to stop thinking about myself. my dad works hard enough as it is. i shall get this on my own.
yay ballet tomorrow. i'm so motivated to work hard yayyyy :D must be able to do double pirouette on pointe! fouette arabesque! and and attitude turn on pointe without falling! and the paquita music is ZOMG so exciting makes me smileeeeeeee :D watching the videos just give me goooooosebumps :D
jeeez. half of holidays are goneeeee. wastedddd. flown awayyyyy. sigh. not looking forward to next sem at allll.
so yeah. tumblr is very very fun :D
very extremely fun.
and how i met your mother is addictiveeeee. season 5 out tomorrrooowww! :D
kay, gig tomorrow. eggciting :D
Sunday, September 20, 2009
tailor tailor made
today is a good day.
yes it has been.
met tania :) after forever man! love you womannnnnn.
then talked many many.
then got a dress at 10 bucks woo!
then went to work. angela was working today. talked a lot. haha.
then came home.
then saw rees' tumblr! heart melt like nobody's business :)
then see pictures of really pretty food.
then read email, and confirmation of lunch with janey and sha next week :)
then end the day by talking to rees.
then then yeah, it's just been a good day :)
ahhhhhhhhh.
yes it has been.
met tania :) after forever man! love you womannnnnn.
then talked many many.
then got a dress at 10 bucks woo!
then went to work. angela was working today. talked a lot. haha.
then came home.
then saw rees' tumblr! heart melt like nobody's business :)
then see pictures of really pretty food.
then read email, and confirmation of lunch with janey and sha next week :)
then end the day by talking to rees.
then then yeah, it's just been a good day :)
ahhhhhhhhh.
Friday, September 18, 2009
though i can't let it go
wow, haven't written for 2 weeks or more. and i've already forgotten :/
hi cheryl cheer up! i miss you ALOT please come back sooon! 25th sept hurry arrive!
alrighty. waking up to the thought of you every morning for the past few months is new to me. but it's a good new. it's a new that i'd like to keep, very much.
hi shamus congrats :)
hi cheryl cheer up! i miss you ALOT please come back sooon! 25th sept hurry arrive!
alrighty. waking up to the thought of you every morning for the past few months is new to me. but it's a good new. it's a new that i'd like to keep, very much.
hi shamus congrats :)
no it don't break even
"Just because she seems strong doesn’t mean she doesn’t cry or have feelings. And just because she acts like she doesn’t care, doesn’t mean that you didn’t mean the world to her."
i like this very much. and this
"Sometimes when our friends ask us if we’re okay, we tend to lie, because we know that telling them the whole story is just going to break our heart once more. So we might as well just lie and say we’re fine."
so anyway. results out tomorrow. EEEPS.
"That there are no random acts. That we are all connected. That you can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind."
"It is because the human spirit knows , deep down, that all lives intersect. That death doesn't just take someone, it misses someone else, and in the small distance between being taken and being missed, lives are changed."
"Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or toussle their hard or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partnes. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it. Life has to end. Love doesn't."
-Mitch Albom
today's post is full of quotes. very rare.
"It’s you. You’re the one I talk about all the time. The one whom I can’t stop thinking about. The one who can make me laugh even when I don’t even want to smile. The one who can make me feel better in seconds when I’m down. It’s you that i’m crazy about."
"You wanna know what living life to the fullest actually is? It’s waking up on a Monday morning without any complaints. It’s knowing you always deserve to laugh. It’s doing what feels right, no matter what. It’s doing what you want to, no matter how stupid you look. It’s about being yourself, because no one can tell you you’re doing it wrong."
Sarcasm helps to keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
kay. i'm getting giddy.
i hope tomorrow turns out fine.
i like this very much. and this
"Sometimes when our friends ask us if we’re okay, we tend to lie, because we know that telling them the whole story is just going to break our heart once more. So we might as well just lie and say we’re fine."
so anyway. results out tomorrow. EEEPS.
"That there are no random acts. That we are all connected. That you can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind."
"It is because the human spirit knows , deep down, that all lives intersect. That death doesn't just take someone, it misses someone else, and in the small distance between being taken and being missed, lives are changed."
"Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or toussle their hard or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partnes. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it. Life has to end. Love doesn't."
-Mitch Albom
today's post is full of quotes. very rare.
"It’s you. You’re the one I talk about all the time. The one whom I can’t stop thinking about. The one who can make me laugh even when I don’t even want to smile. The one who can make me feel better in seconds when I’m down. It’s you that i’m crazy about."
"You wanna know what living life to the fullest actually is? It’s waking up on a Monday morning without any complaints. It’s knowing you always deserve to laugh. It’s doing what feels right, no matter what. It’s doing what you want to, no matter how stupid you look. It’s about being yourself, because no one can tell you you’re doing it wrong."
Sarcasm helps to keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
kay. i'm getting giddy.
i hope tomorrow turns out fine.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
let's paint the town
pourquoi est-ce qu'est-il il, en ce monde que nous vivons dedans, des choses sont si compliqué ?
je me demande pourquoi les gens pensent seulement à eux-mêmes.
je suis très fatigué. mes muscles font mal.
vous sentez-vous jamais comme vous voulez se cacher sous votre couverture ? c'est où vous sentez en sécurité. c'est où votre imagination peut courir sauvage. c'est votre paradis.
au cas où je nager demain ?
le mot ' ; priority' ; soudainement apparu dans ma tête. étrange.
d'accord. je vais lire mon livre maintenant. je veux écrire tellement plus. mais les gens ont lu.
bonbon à sommeil.
je me demande pourquoi les gens pensent seulement à eux-mêmes.
je suis très fatigué. mes muscles font mal.
vous sentez-vous jamais comme vous voulez se cacher sous votre couverture ? c'est où vous sentez en sécurité. c'est où votre imagination peut courir sauvage. c'est votre paradis.
au cas où je nager demain ?
le mot ' ; priority' ; soudainement apparu dans ma tête. étrange.
d'accord. je vais lire mon livre maintenant. je veux écrire tellement plus. mais les gens ont lu.
bonbon à sommeil.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
take a sad song and make it better
(a lot of nonsense in this post, don't bother reading if you don't wanna waste your time. seriously :D)
HELLLOOOO.
yelllloooooowwwwwww.
melllllowwwwwwww.
weeeeeew.
nneeeewwwww.
meeewwwwwww
pewwwwwwwwwwwwwww
okay. enough,
teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeps.
okay. sorry. haha.
i feel like there's a lot of nonsense waiting to spill out. haha. shit. weeeuit.
yabbadabbadooooooooooooo.
lift your head and look at the window. stay that way for the rest of the day. look at how the clouds change. listen to the birds sing, listen to the bells ring.
sheesh gotta wake up at 715 tomorrow. earliest this holidays. ahhhhhh. nebermind. i'm seeing children. i will be happy. hahha. who am i kidding, maybe perhaps possibly?
kay. lazy to blog already.
or maybe not. whoopdeedoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
goodness gracious me.
why ah why.
zomgwtfttm.
all the lost causes.
random is fun.
fun is joy.
joy is nice.
nice is love.
love is you.
MMMPFTS.
isn't jealousy normal?
isn't that what makes us human.
humans are complicated beings.
hi tania and jo. i need/want to talk to you.
results out this friday.
dummdeedumdumdum.
all this cling and clatter.
i feel like a goddamn two-faced shit.
let's see. mommy cooked one of my favouritest soups today. with soya sauce chicken. yay.
need to lose thighs. and butt.
ice cream is good stuff! absolutely positively yummy!
ballet tomorrow. i am very extremely excited! hehe. that's a good sign right? haha. sheesh. can't believe i'm questioning myself. about something that i've been doing since 5. that's like the stupidest thing huh. haha. but then again, you will lose your way once in awhile. and then when you get back on the right track the satisfaction you get is indescribable. it's something that fills your heart and soul to the brim, and overwhelms. nice.
haha, so much nonsense coming out from me. yay.
need. to. think. of. a. way.
i need to stop being a crowd pleaser.
pah, who am i kidding. ain't go no guts man.
sooooooo, how's your holidays everyone? haha. shit. really crapping a lot. damnit.
hello sue wei i miss you hell lots. siew ling you too.
and adrienne.
haha i still remember my first class for PPCM in year 1 sem 1. we had to play this game to get to know each other, and you had to use an adjective to describe yourself which starts with the same letter as your name. bubbly bernette. jubilant janey. sweet sha. hahahah.
i want to bake. soon please.
so sweeeet, and so petiteeee.
put on my blue suede shoes, and boarded the plane.
touched down in the land of the delta blues
in the middle of the pouring rain.
walking in memphis, but do i really feel the way i feel.
so many things to plan! sheesh.
actually no. maybe not. perhaps.
haha. jibber jabber banner shnabber whabber yabber yik yak woo.
SHIT. memories from last christmas are coming back. that was the most selfish thing to ever do. the pain and grief is wunforgettable. it takes a bloody lifetime to heal. how the hell do you expect to deal with it. do you know, even after what like 10 months? it still bloody hurts. i still can't totally get over it. to see someone you love being totally destroyed. no one deserves such a cruel gift. you have no bloody idea how bitter, cynical i am. i HATE the word. ABSOLUTELY DETEST. then i feel sad. i feel miserable. big fat why. don't even come and tell me you understand. how about go through it then tell me how it feels.
god, i need to stop being so bitter and cynical. bad for health. haha.
i'm falling even more in love with you
letting go of all i've held onto
i'm standing here until you make me move
i'm hanging by a moment here with you
one mile to every inch of,
your skin like porcelain,
one pair of candy lips,
and your bubblegum tongue.
your body is a wonderland
your body is a wonder, i'll use my hands,
your body is a wonderland
i don't want to be
anything other than what i've been trying to be lately
all i have to do
is think of me and i have peace of mind
i'm tired of looking 'round rooms
wondering what i've got to do
or who i'm supposed to be
i don't want to be anything other than me
if you don't want me to leave
then don't push me away
you'd rather blow out the lights
you can watch is all fade
but i'm going nowhere
tell me did you sail across the sun
did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
and that heaven is overrated
tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
one without a permanent scar
and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there.
tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
did you finally get a chance to dance along the light of day
and head back to the milky way
and tell me, did venus blow your mind
was it everything you wanted to find
and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there
i need to up in 4 hours 56 min!
i want to sing in the rain and jump into puddles and not have a care in the world.
okay. no want. want is no good.
okay. nice long post. been awhile.
woah 6 weeks is die.
shopping. is. fun. is. expensive. can. kill.
wokay.
hungry ballssssssss.
what a day, what a night?
tralalalalalala.
have yourself a merry little christmas, make the yuletide gayyyyyyy.
i should sleeeeeep. but like. don't wanna. but like, kinda need to. but like. sigh.
RAWR.
self-reflection is tiring.
thinking is good for the brain.
results out this friday.
i wanna eat waffles.
should gym perhaps.
haha, retarded. gym and i probably do not go in the same sentence.
sheesh.
okay. i should just switch off my lappy now. bed is more comfy. sitting on the floor is killing my ass. and my back.
kay.
maybe not,
verbal diarrhoea fun.
apple schnapple konica ploom.
curboomba wowza kaplona loouueeeei.
sheesh my tummy is growling so bad.
yay talking to larris makes my day, totally :)
i wanna continue typing but like my thoughts are all jumbled up, hard to type out. another time then, when verbal diarrhoea strikes again!
bonne nuit monde.
HELLLOOOO.
yelllloooooowwwwwww.
melllllowwwwwwww.
weeeeeew.
nneeeewwwww.
meeewwwwwww
pewwwwwwwwwwwwwww
okay. enough,
teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeps.
okay. sorry. haha.
i feel like there's a lot of nonsense waiting to spill out. haha. shit. weeeuit.
yabbadabbadooooooooooooo.
lift your head and look at the window. stay that way for the rest of the day. look at how the clouds change. listen to the birds sing, listen to the bells ring.
sheesh gotta wake up at 715 tomorrow. earliest this holidays. ahhhhhh. nebermind. i'm seeing children. i will be happy. hahha. who am i kidding, maybe perhaps possibly?
kay. lazy to blog already.
or maybe not. whoopdeedoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
goodness gracious me.
why ah why.
zomgwtfttm.
all the lost causes.
random is fun.
fun is joy.
joy is nice.
nice is love.
love is you.
MMMPFTS.
isn't jealousy normal?
isn't that what makes us human.
humans are complicated beings.
hi tania and jo. i need/want to talk to you.
results out this friday.
dummdeedumdumdum.
all this cling and clatter.
i feel like a goddamn two-faced shit.
let's see. mommy cooked one of my favouritest soups today. with soya sauce chicken. yay.
need to lose thighs. and butt.
ice cream is good stuff! absolutely positively yummy!
ballet tomorrow. i am very extremely excited! hehe. that's a good sign right? haha. sheesh. can't believe i'm questioning myself. about something that i've been doing since 5. that's like the stupidest thing huh. haha. but then again, you will lose your way once in awhile. and then when you get back on the right track the satisfaction you get is indescribable. it's something that fills your heart and soul to the brim, and overwhelms. nice.
haha, so much nonsense coming out from me. yay.
need. to. think. of. a. way.
i need to stop being a crowd pleaser.
pah, who am i kidding. ain't go no guts man.
sooooooo, how's your holidays everyone? haha. shit. really crapping a lot. damnit.
hello sue wei i miss you hell lots. siew ling you too.
and adrienne.
haha i still remember my first class for PPCM in year 1 sem 1. we had to play this game to get to know each other, and you had to use an adjective to describe yourself which starts with the same letter as your name. bubbly bernette. jubilant janey. sweet sha. hahahah.
i want to bake. soon please.
so sweeeet, and so petiteeee.
put on my blue suede shoes, and boarded the plane.
touched down in the land of the delta blues
in the middle of the pouring rain.
walking in memphis, but do i really feel the way i feel.
so many things to plan! sheesh.
actually no. maybe not. perhaps.
haha. jibber jabber banner shnabber whabber yabber yik yak woo.
SHIT. memories from last christmas are coming back. that was the most selfish thing to ever do. the pain and grief is wunforgettable. it takes a bloody lifetime to heal. how the hell do you expect to deal with it. do you know, even after what like 10 months? it still bloody hurts. i still can't totally get over it. to see someone you love being totally destroyed. no one deserves such a cruel gift. you have no bloody idea how bitter, cynical i am. i HATE the word. ABSOLUTELY DETEST. then i feel sad. i feel miserable. big fat why. don't even come and tell me you understand. how about go through it then tell me how it feels.
god, i need to stop being so bitter and cynical. bad for health. haha.
i'm falling even more in love with you
letting go of all i've held onto
i'm standing here until you make me move
i'm hanging by a moment here with you
one mile to every inch of,
your skin like porcelain,
one pair of candy lips,
and your bubblegum tongue.
your body is a wonderland
your body is a wonder, i'll use my hands,
your body is a wonderland
i don't want to be
anything other than what i've been trying to be lately
all i have to do
is think of me and i have peace of mind
i'm tired of looking 'round rooms
wondering what i've got to do
or who i'm supposed to be
i don't want to be anything other than me
if you don't want me to leave
then don't push me away
you'd rather blow out the lights
you can watch is all fade
but i'm going nowhere
tell me did you sail across the sun
did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
and that heaven is overrated
tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
one without a permanent scar
and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there.
tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
did you finally get a chance to dance along the light of day
and head back to the milky way
and tell me, did venus blow your mind
was it everything you wanted to find
and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there
i need to up in 4 hours 56 min!
i want to sing in the rain and jump into puddles and not have a care in the world.
okay. no want. want is no good.
okay. nice long post. been awhile.
woah 6 weeks is die.
shopping. is. fun. is. expensive. can. kill.
wokay.
hungry ballssssssss.
what a day, what a night?
tralalalalalala.
have yourself a merry little christmas, make the yuletide gayyyyyyy.
i should sleeeeeep. but like. don't wanna. but like, kinda need to. but like. sigh.
RAWR.
self-reflection is tiring.
thinking is good for the brain.
results out this friday.
i wanna eat waffles.
should gym perhaps.
haha, retarded. gym and i probably do not go in the same sentence.
sheesh.
okay. i should just switch off my lappy now. bed is more comfy. sitting on the floor is killing my ass. and my back.
kay.
maybe not,
verbal diarrhoea fun.
apple schnapple konica ploom.
curboomba wowza kaplona loouueeeei.
sheesh my tummy is growling so bad.
yay talking to larris makes my day, totally :)
i wanna continue typing but like my thoughts are all jumbled up, hard to type out. another time then, when verbal diarrhoea strikes again!
bonne nuit monde.
Friday, September 11, 2009
the party's almost over,
let's see.
didn't do anything last saturday, cept work. watched voodoo busk on sunday, then dinner at carl's junior. hee :) was good :) prac on monday and wednesday. went swimming in the morning then met aylwin to discuss gamesssss and worked today. oh and tuesday was nice, really really nice :) heh.
did a whole class in pointe on tuesday. zomg. my toes were numb after that. and my legs were wobbly, and my butt hurt. hahaha. but i should start getting used to it. eeks! same thing again tomorrow! i hope my pointe work gets stronger and i survive tomorrow's class. pointe best.
i'm hungry! no surprise there.
okay, i'm bored. i wanna make caramelised popcorn and snuggle on the sofa with a few videos and a nice drink. eeks. sounds good. or perhaps snuggle in bed with a really good book. or bake my favouritest cookies, or try baking brownies/cheesecake, and feel satisfied after that. hmmmmm.
didn't do anything last saturday, cept work. watched voodoo busk on sunday, then dinner at carl's junior. hee :) was good :) prac on monday and wednesday. went swimming in the morning then met aylwin to discuss gamesssss and worked today. oh and tuesday was nice, really really nice :) heh.
did a whole class in pointe on tuesday. zomg. my toes were numb after that. and my legs were wobbly, and my butt hurt. hahaha. but i should start getting used to it. eeks! same thing again tomorrow! i hope my pointe work gets stronger and i survive tomorrow's class. pointe best.
i'm hungry! no surprise there.
okay, i'm bored. i wanna make caramelised popcorn and snuggle on the sofa with a few videos and a nice drink. eeks. sounds good. or perhaps snuggle in bed with a really good book. or bake my favouritest cookies, or try baking brownies/cheesecake, and feel satisfied after that. hmmmmm.
need to study for my btt! eeks.
yawn. so many things to plan for camp zomgttm.
kay. shall wait for my nails to dry, then jump into bed with a book. wheeeeeee.
nighty nights.
Friday, September 4, 2009
right kind of phrase.
i would very much like to fall asleep in your arms, tonight especially.
every little thing still puts a smile on my face
my heart still skips a beat
i still get tingles down my spine
oh me oh my (:
every little thing still puts a smile on my face
my heart still skips a beat
i still get tingles down my spine
oh me oh my (:
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
you girls are love :)
reading the emails from sha and janey just make me smile. like seriously. i don't know. like they really touch me, and make me wanna cry. not sad though! just like, touched. i used to hate to write emails cos i felt they were impersonal and totally not how i want to be able to talk to a person. but writing to janey and sha just really makes me happy, and makes me look forward to seeing their mails in my inbox. wheee. love you girls!
insecurities can really mentally exhaust you.
this is so tiring.
sigh.
jo and tania, please please please can we meet up soon. oh wait, prelims. then i'll count down till mid september. yikes. it seems like a damn long time. good luck for prelims tania!
ARGH.
insecurities can really mentally exhaust you.
this is so tiring.
sigh.
jo and tania, please please please can we meet up soon. oh wait, prelims. then i'll count down till mid september. yikes. it seems like a damn long time. good luck for prelims tania!
ARGH.
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