i miss the friendship. i know we never talked every single day, but i least i was comforted with the thought that i can talk to you whenever, bout whatever. i knew that our friendship was always there.

feels like i've lost it. i miss it, badly. i want to be able to call you out anytime. but now, i just hold back. cos i'm afraid. i'm afraid we'd have nothing to talk about. i'm afraid of hearing something i don't wanna hear.

and you, have you never even thought about it a single time? one lone time at all? have you any clue, any idea how much i hate the thought of cny now? it's like, i didn't even think about it all. i just had a really uneasy feeling. i swear it's like, argh. cny. really. first christmas, then cny.

hey guys, why not take my birthday as well.

i am not comforted by the thought of politics.

i should really finish my field notes.