we're hardly ever here,

it's hard being stuck in the middle. whooopdeedooo.



it's like, hard to explain. i feel like explaining this to anyone isn't going to help at all. no offence to those who have been there for me. but it's like, i need someone to climb into my head and decipher this shit so i can stop feeling this way. gahhh. i want to know what the right thing to do is. i want to know whether to totally trust or to be on my guard, or to suspect and demand an end to it. i want to know when all this can stop. i want things to go back to normal. i don't want to live in a tense atmosphere, i don't want to live in a place where doors are slammed all the time, black faces shown, tears falling all the time.



maybe i'm thinking too much.



that's probably it.



it better be.







so, had ballet today. it was, rewarding. like, getting praise from mm is something that makes me glow. really, laugh all you want. you have to dance to feel it. so, i feel like i haven't dance enough. cos alcina meimei and i had to go in late, so we didn't really warm up and all. so like, the class didn't feel complete. i wonder what it's like to dance all day, everyday. imagine the sweat and blood. wooo. the dropping toenails, the blisters, the bunions. woohoo.

okay enough. yes. so, i'm really glad i get to dance twice this week. hmm.

seems like this holiday is extremely packed. supposed to have ayg next week, and then got bbq and all, and all the projects? and assignments? which i haven't even touched on. haha. wowza. wish me luck!


imma muddled?